“‘Tis the season to be jolly” is one joyous take on the meaning of the holidays. Then, there’s the one from my friends who come from faith communities.
“Jesus is the reason for the season.” That’s fine, too, if that’s what gives you comfort.
The holidays conjure up images of happiness, stress-free togetherness, parties, and events. Yet, we are cautioned to celebrate the “true meaning of Christmas” and we are pointed to examples of the true meaning in movies such as, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” and literature like, “A Christmas Carol.”
But the older I get and the more people I meet, the more I think that the true meaning of the season is … well, whatever you want it to be and no one should measure the worth of their holiday against anyone else’s standards.
What if each of us followed our instincts and created the holiday that had the most meaning to us? What if we were allowed to do so without being labeled a Scrooge?
For the families scattered across the country, Christmas may mean that they get to spend time together. The travel hassles are worth it. Yet, despite that stereotypical Kodak vision, for some people Christmas is better spent alone or with a small group of friends and that’s the way they like it. The joy they get is from their resolve to be true to themselves and it’s the greatest gift they could get. The comfort of their chosen family trumps stress from blood relatives.
There are people for whom Christmas means snow, skis, and the comfort of a cozy cabin. The trees they want to see are decorated with snow and ice, and the most important gathering of the day is after sunset around a roaring fire with a hot beverage in hand. Their time with nature gives them more joy than fancy gifts and groaning tables of gourmet feasts.
I know a child-free couple in the news business whose tradition it is to staff their respective newsrooms to allow their colleagues time with their families. It’s their gift to their colleagues – and to themselves. That’s because it resolves the joyless tug-of-war between their families, each of which wants to spend all day Christmas Day with the couple.
Christmas can mean blending customs from different traditions, religions and cultures. It might mean that the holidays aren’t comfortable until the new traditions are formed. It can mean coping with joyless stress. It can mean a welcome break from work.
It can mean doing whatever feels right, even if that is something different every year and even if raises eyebrows.
In my house, it means that my husband and I get three weeks with our daughter who will be home from college. For me, little else matters – not gifts, not decorations, not food or shopping or cards. That said our favorite tradition is going out to buy our Christmas tree on what usually turns out to be the most uncomfortable, coldest, rainiest, darkest night about two weeks before Christmas. Then, we put on all the holiday music from Bing Crosby to Quincy Jones, stoke up on cocoa with peppermint schnapps, and decorate while discouraging the cat from climbing it. That’s pure joy in my book.
Oh, and we celebrate Chanukah even though we’re not Jewish. We like the message of the miracle.
So, I hope you have the holiday season that you want, celebrating whatever holiday you celebrate in whatever way you want to celebrate it. I wish you comfort and joy.
